Understanding Polyvagal Theory: The Science of Connection and Nervous System Regulation
We live in a stress-filled world that often feels fast-paced and overwhelming. Understanding how our nervous system responds to stress, safety, and connection can not only change how we experience the world, but it can also change your life. Polyvagal theory, which was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, provides a framework for understanding how our autonomic nervous system experiences the world and adapts to different situations. When we have knowledge and an awareness of how our nervous system operates, we can build better relationships, regulate and respond to our emotions, and foster a sense of safety within ourselves and with others. I have found this to be true not only for the clients I work with as a psychotherapist but also for myself throughout my own life journey.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system reacts to our environment based on signals of safety or danger. Instead of viewing the autonomic nervous system as simply the balance between "fight or flight" and "rest and digest,", which had been the traditional view, Polyvagal Theory identifies three primary nervous system states:
Ventral Vagal State (Social Engagement) – This is the state of safety and connection. When we are in this state, we feel calm, present, and able to engage with others. Our body is relaxed, and we can experience joy, curiosity, and connection. For simplicity’s sake, I describe this state to clients as being in the "green zone". This is a state our body and nervous system thrives in.
Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight) – When we perceive a threat, our body mobilizes energy to either fight or flee. In this state, our heart rate increases, we become more alert, and we may feel anxious, irritable, or restless. In working with clients, I describe this state as being in the “yellow zone" as a more simple explanation and reference.
Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown or Freeze) – When a threat feels overwhelming or inescapable, our system may collapse into a shutdown response. This can look like dissociation, numbness, extreme fatigue, overwhelm or a sense of disconnection from the world. For clients, I describe this state as a "red state" which is most commonly experienced as overwhelm in the work I do.
These states are not choices but biological responses that happen automatically. By understanding these states, we can learn ways to shift toward safety and connection which occur in the Ventral Vagal State (or "green zone"). It is important to remember that our nervous systems are not good nor bad and our goal is to recognize the state without judgement in order support it when needed.
Neuroception: Detection Without Awareness
A key principle of Polyvagal Theory is Neuroception. Neuroception describes the way the autonomic nervous system takes in information without involving the thinking parts of the brain. Our nervous system is continually surveilling the environment around us and responds to cues of safety or threats in several areas including:
Signals inside the body
Outside of ourselves
Between people
Neuroception occurs between our conscious perception and experiences of how we experience the world.
The Importance of Co-Regulation: Why Human Connection Matters
Our nervous system is interconnected with others and does not function in isolation. From our birth, we rely on caregivers to help us regulate our emotions and stress. This process is called co-regulation continues throughout life as we seek support from loved ones, friends, and even pets. Co-regulation happens when one person's calm and steady nervous system helps another person shift from a stressed or dysregulated state to a more regulated one. An example many of us can relate to is how a hug from a friend can reduce anxiety or how a baby calms down when held by a caregiver. This biological response highlights how essential human connection is for emotional well-being.
When we lack co-regulation, we may struggle with self-soothing and experience prolonged stress. Conversely, building supportive relationships helps us create a sense of safety, which in turn strengthens our ability to regulate our own nervous system.
Recognizing Your Nervous System State
Awareness is the first step toward change. By tuning into our body’s signals, we can begin to recognize which state we are in and take steps to move toward regulation.
Signs of Ventral Vagal (Safe and Connected) State: Relaxed body, steady breath, ability to engage with others, feelings of curiosity and joy.
Signs of Sympathetic (Fight or Flight) State: Racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, restlessness, anxiety, or irritability.
Signs of Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown) State: Low energy, numbness, difficulty engaging, feelings of hopelessness, overwhelm or detachment.
The 3N's is a common technique when it comes to recognizing states. The first "N" is Noticing which is simply becoming aware and recognizing your nervous system state. The second "N" is Name which represents an understanding of why your nervous system is in a particular state in this time and place. Lastly, the third "N" is nurture which is a way to shift your nervous system state to a place of regulation and balance. The next section will highlight ways to Nurture and support your nervous system.
How to Support Nervous System Regulation
Understanding polyvagal theory allows us to develop practices that encourage nervous system regulation. Here are some ways to help shift into a state of safety and connection:
Deep, Slow Breathing – Taking slow, intentional breaths signals to your body that you are safe. Try inhaling for four seconds, holding for four, and exhaling for six.
Grounding Techniques – Using the senses to anchor yourself in the present moment (e.g., noticing textures, sounds, or scents) can help bring you back to a ventral vagal state.
Social Connection – Engaging in eye contact, physical touch, or even talking with a trusted friend can activate the social engagement system.
Movement – Gentle movement like stretching, walking, or yoga can help discharge excess energy from the sympathetic state and bring balance.
Vocalization – Humming, singing, or chanting stimulates the vagus nerve, which promotes relaxation and connection.
Self-Compassion – Acknowledging your nervous system’s responses with kindness instead of judgment allows you to work with your body rather than against it.
Embrace Nervous System Awareness
By learning about polyvagal theory, we can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and compassion for ourselves and others. Our nervous system is always working to protect us, and by understanding how it functions, we can create a life that feels more regulated, connected, and safe. Whether through co-regulation with loved ones, mindfulness practices, or simply recognizing our body's cues, we can take meaningful steps toward well-being and resilience. Understanding your nervous system is a journey, and small changes can lead to profound shifts.
How will you begin to support your nervous system today?
